I have been debating in my head how exactly I would like this blog to play out, and to be honest I have no idea! I guess I will just have to type it and say whatever happens, happens! (It's hard to let go of control.)

(I wrote this 2 days ago and just could not finish or publish it, then amazingly I read this post by Kyle Cease on Facebook) I am now (timidly) ready to start.

"I know most people don't care about this, however if you experienced this it would be the ONLY thing you care about. This process has been the craziest experiment of my life. I am writing new material by riffing it over and over into a camera on skype for different groups of people. Everytime someone hears it, they laugh so hard at me and I suddenly get into state and add the funniest stuff to it. the jokes start evolving on their own. IT is such a fascinating process. It's also causing me to really feel a new level of confidence. I start delivering the jokes with this different force behind me and mixing it with what I am truly feeling in that moment. Here is what I am getting from this. If you are sad in ANY WAY at all. Start to write your thoughts out and keep going. every single thought you have. Watch as you observe the thoughts as you write and realize that it is just a thought. DO NOT ANALYZE. The mistake of analyzing is you are under the illusion that what is happening in the current moment is how it will be at the end. (I can't think of anything good to write about so the book is going to be stupid) Analyzing would be like analyzing working out versus working out. No matter how much you analyze, you will not get fitter. Analyzing is control. You aren't trusting, you are trying to see it. Everytime I riff to people on skype, I feel different, more confident and better. Also after now doing this for 5 people, I am addicted. It's like when you go to the gym for a couple weeks. You want to go again. But when you start, you don't. Starting is 90 percent of this. Show up and be ok with the struggle, the not knowing, the letting go of certainty. Get excited about not knowing. Practice showing up and doing it more. I have no clue where this is going to go. If I did, there would be no room for surprises. JUST Start without knowing. You are analyzing this right now. Start and keep going only. Either you are working out, or gaining weight. You don't need therapy, or motivation. Just start."


Thank you Kyle Cease for your Amazing words!